Die Rayleigh Die!
by Jennistar1
Summary: Maerad is seeing other guys...Cadvan is jealous...What will happen?
1. The Kiss

NB: I don't own these characters…except Rayleigh…who is a git…

Also, I've never thought of this fic as being particularly great, but a lot of people on sffworld were fans of it, so I stuck this up esp. for YOU GUYS!! So feel pleased :)

**Jealousy - part 1 – The Kiss**

There were many things that Cadvan of Lirigon could not brook when it came to Meets and Festivals. He couldn't bear the gossip, for one thing, mostly because it was about him or something he was connected with. He couldn't bear sitting at long tables, exchanging useless information or having to listen to people around him publically dismissing the idea that the Nameless had risen again. He couldn't bear the smell of all the food, or the heat, or the droning of all the old men he was forced to listen to. And, especially tonight, at this particular Meet, he couldn't _bear_ to watch Maerad dancing with and being flirted with by yet _another_ idiotic young boy.

He sat at the high table and watched with narrowed eyes as Maerad was led around the floor by the latest charmer, a young man called Rayleigh, who was confident and cheerful and had hardly enough brains to fill an eggcup, and tried to force himself to stop thinking in this way.

Maerad was the _Chosen One_, for the sake of the Light, he thought angrily. She shouldn't be wasting her time with these _boys_ - she should be learning more about the world, about herself and her powers, with him, Cadvan...

Not letting herself parade around with silly idiots who knew nothing - _nothing_ - about true Darkness...

He wished he could say that Maerad was deliberately flaunting herself, so that he could be properly angry, with a good purpose. But the fact of the matter was that she wasn't - she was simply enjoying herself. It wasn't her fault that she looked so radiant that every boy in the entire hall wanted to –

_Arrrrrgh..._

He turned his head away, trying to focus on something else, but somehow the prancing, dancing Maerad and Rayleigh kept swanning across his vision, so that he was forced to watch them.

Maerad was just having fun, he could tell, by the way her eyes twinkled and gazed around her as she swirled around, and by the way she was smiling. But Rayleigh - judging by his smirk - had other things on his mind. Really, Cadvan thought, if that boy gripped her any tighter by the waists - that _possessive little_ - Well, if he did, Cadvan would - he would –

Sit there and do nothing.

Cadvan resisted the urge to groan and thump his head repeatedly on the table, which was lucky because at the moment he was being talked at by Ordil, the most influential and also most boring person in Til Amon, and Cadvan crashing his head into his dinner would probably have given the Bard the wrong idea. Instead, he settled for resting his forehead in his hand and nodding every so often to keep the rattling speech going.

_All right,_ he told himself strictly. _You are Maerad's teacher. You are her friend. Nothing more. A father figure if anything. Yes. A father figure._

He had to have _fatherly_ feelings, yes that was right. _Fatherly._

Cadvan glanced back up and tried to tune back into the conversation, and thought he was doing quite well until Rayliegh lurched forward and there, in the middle of the dance floor, kissed Maerad straight on the mouth.

All intended fatherly feelings were forgotten. Cadvan leapt to his feet, ready to storm down to the floor and rip the boy Limb. From. Limb...

He realised he was standing, and that Ordil and most others around them - including Saliman, Soron and Hem - were staring up at him blankly. He glared back down at the floor, where Rayleigh had Maerad wrapped in some sort of Laocoon embrace, then did the only thing that an unstable, highly jealous man could do in his situation.

He fled.

And, in so doing, he completely missed Maerad pulling away from Rayleigh in horror, then glancing swiftly up to Cadvan's now vacated seat at the table above with an expression of sudden regret.

End of chapter 1! Review or I'll never write another word!!


	2. The Argument

NB: Yeah, I own 'em

NB: Yeah, I own 'em. I also live on the moon. Still believe me?

**Chapter 2 - An argument**

It was the most awkward dinner Hem thought he had ever attended. Oh, it _seemed_ cheerful enough - Saliman, Soron and Irc were all chatting away perfectly naturally, and the food was as good as ever - except –

Except that once more Maerad and Cadvan were eating in silence, and occasionally glaring at one another over their dishes.

They must have had a fight, Hem decided, though he couldn't imagine what about. Probably something little that had sparked both their short tempers so that now it had turned into something big - it was often like that with those two.

Saliman was discussing the minor Bards ball coming up, and asked Hem if he was going to go, to which Hem replied in the affirmative, then he asked Maerad.

Maerad broke her silence and said, without even glancing at Cadvan,

"Yes, Rayleigh's invited me."

Cadvan choked on his soup, and Maerad instantly whirled around on her chair to glare at him.

"Is there something wrong?" she snapped.

Soron - who had been about to say something else - closed his mouth quickly, and they all watched the suddenly tense pair.

"Nothing," Cadvan retorted smoothly. "Except that you always seem to be invited somewhere with that boy lately."

"So?" Maerad asked, immediately on the defence.

"So you're the _One_, Maerad. You should be preparing yourself for the struggle ahead, not dithering with silly - "

"I am prpearing myself! You know I am, Cadvan! But I'm trying to have a normal life as well - why do you have a problem with that? You didn't in Thorold."

"That was different," Cadvan assured her.

"Oh, because Rayleigh wasn't around?" she snapped.

Cadvan reddened.

"This has nothing to do with that - "

"But it does, doesn't it?"

Maerad had risen to her feet in apparent abandonment of her meal and the rest of the gatehring, who were now watching the sudden argument with their mouths open.

"It has _everything_ to do with Rayleigh," Maerad said heatedly. "You don't like him – just because - "

"I never said - "

" - Just because you're _jealous!_"

The word echoed around the room with startling force, silencing everyone, even Irc, who was watching intently even though he didn't understand their language. Maerad stared defiantly down at Cadvan, her eyes sparking with a mixture of upset and triumph, whilst Cadvan surveyed the tablecloth in front of him, apparently totally calm.

"I am not jealous," he said finally in an utterly level voice, avoiding her eyes.

"Yes you _are_," Maerad insisted. Hem noticed she was now trembling with rage. "You get all offended when I - "

"Maerad, I am _not_ jealous - "

" - And awkward whenever he is around - You're jealous - "

"Oh, like you were with Nerili?"

Cadvan had lost his temper as well now, and the words had spat themselves out. Hem had no idea who Nerili was, but apparently Maerad did - and apparently Cadvan had struck exactly the right note…because Maerad went as white as a ghost.

"I don't - I didn't - " she stuttered, her lie much less convincing than Cadvan's had been.

Cadvan rose to his feet as well now, absolutely enraged.

"Oh yes you did," he retorted darkly. "Do not take me for a fool, Maerad - I could see it written all over your face..."

Maerad's pale face suffused a bright scarlet, and she practically shouted,

"W - Well how was I _meant_ to feel, Cadvan? When you didn't tell me anything about your relationship with her - "

"My _relationship_ with Nerili is none of your business!" Cadvan yelled.

"Then _my_ relationship with Rayleigh is none of _yours_!" Maerad shouted back.

There was a nasty silence, in which everyone not involved in the argument looked around them and tried to pretend they were not there. Hem glanced at Saliman and was surprised to see a smile tweaking the corners of his mouth - what on earth was there to smile about here?!

"Fine," Cadvan said calmly, finally breaking the silence. "Then I shall stay out of your business if you stay out of mine."

"Fine," Maerad returned coldly.

"_Fine_!" Cadvan snapped, and then, after one final glare, they simulataneously turned their backs on one another and crashed out of the room through opposing doors.

A dead silence followed, which Saliman and Soron abruptly broke - by bursting into laughter.

Both Hem and Irc jumped - it did not seem like the time to laugh - and Hem stared blankly over at Saliman.

"What was all that about?" he asked weakly, feeling his stomach also lurch with laughter, though he couldn't understand why.

"That, my friends," Saliman said in the Speech, raising his glass to Hem and Irc, "Was _love_."

Hem stared back at the firmly closed opposing doors.

_Funny sort of love,_ Irc said, and Hem found himself absolutely agreeing with him.

Read! Review! Is it me, or was this chapter kinda soap-operay?


	3. Regrets

NB: Heeeeeres chapter 3

NB: Heeeeeres chapter 3!! And I STILL don't own them! Damn, that sucks!

Chapter 3 - Regrets

Cadvan crashed into his room with as much force as he could, swore loudly, threw a few books around, then plonked himself on the nearest chair, utterly exhausted.  
The argument should not have happened, he told himself miserably. He should not have protested so strongly about that idiot _boy_ –

But then, what did Maerad _expect?_ When she had gone out with the fool every evening, hand in hand, and Cadvan had had to watch them and grind his teeth and say nothing? When he had _warned_ her _specifically_ in her lessons that she had to concentrate on the task in hand, which she had dismissed, saying that she was trying as hard as she could, which had nearly led to an argument right there in the fighting grounds, and which had definitely sparked off their fight just now...

He should not have said _anything._ He was perfectly aware that complaining about her misconduct in lessons would eventually lead to a comment about her continual evening sojourns, which would lead to the _boy_, which would lead to Maerad claiming that Cadvan was jealous - because she wasn't stupid. He was.

He should not have mentioned Nerili. He had tried to forget what he had noticed in Thorold - little things - Maerad's initial awkwardness with Nerili when she had obviously figured out Cadvan's relationship with the woman, which mirrored his own awkwardness with Rayleigh. And the way that her face closed in on itself whenever Cadvan mentioned Nerili, even if it was in passing, just as he was sure his did whenever Rayleigh's name passed through _her_ lips.

He was feeling the same about Rayleigh as she had felt about Nerili - well, almost the same, because Maerad wasn't as haunted within herself as he was. He should not have pointed this out to her, though. It only made things worse - more confusing.

Cadvan leaned back reflectively in his chair, staring up at the gold leaf ceiling.

Jealousy, he thought, is a vicious monster. It can rip apart relationships which were previously so tight. It can make people forget what their relationship was _before_ the difficulty came along, so that all that exists in their memory is the upset and pain. It can fill a person. It is a Darkness which can blot out a person's Light eternally.

_All right,_ he said to himself just as he had at the Meet, only more determinedly this time. _Think Cadvan._

_You are jealous. You are jealous because you lo – _

Because I care for her.

_No. Because you love her._

I love her...

_But this does not mean she has stopped being your friend. Love is not an annhilator of friendship, it is an extension._

_  
She is still your friend. A close friend, who deserves to know your business. You must tell her about Nerili if you want to know about Rayleigh._

I'm not sure I do.

_You do. Tell her._

You know the drill! So do it bi-atches!! (smiles innocently)


	4. Confessions

NB: This is chapter 4 and the last chapter, thank god

NB: This is chapter 4 and the last chapter, thank god!! Not sure I'm strong enough to write more than oneshots, but we shall see…I don't own anyone, except Rayleigh, who I now feel quite sorry for…

**Chapter 4 – Confessions**

The night garden in Til Amon had been specifically designed to ease minds which were troubled at night. The flowers in the garden released their fragrance constantly - clumps of sweet smelling jasmine and honeysuckle and white roses sat everywhere. The fountain was only pumped at night and was deliberately positioned so that it caught the light of the full moon every month and then glowed a resplendent silver. Even the garden itself was positioned far from houses and bars so that there was only a calming silence for the before mentioned struggling mind.

None of this helped Maerad now, though. She sat on a stone bench under a large willow tree, staring gloomily at the argent fountain and inwardly cursing herself.  
She should never have said Cadvan was jealous. Even if it was true, she should never have said it. She knew he was extremely guarded about that sort of thing...

And now perhaps she had lost even that small openness she _did_ have with him.

The argument, she thought dismally, should never have happened. But how could she make it up with him now...?

She sighed aloud and brought her knees up to her chin, staring once more into the flowing, glowing fountain.

"I had a relationship with Nerili," said a low voice just behind her, making her jump. She whirled around in time to see Cadvan approach out of the shadows behind her and crouch down slowly in front of her.

"I had a relationship with Nerili," he repeated steadily. "But it was only for a few weeks."

Maerad immediately felt foolish.

"Cadvan - I - I don't want to - "

He placed his forefinger on her mouth to silence her, then continued.

"Nerili was the only person I had met who allowed the darkness to revel within her and still stayed strong. I thought she was like me. But I was wrong. It was a different darkness within her than was within me. Hers was a mild form of darkness - a defiance, a daring, a lack of rules, a Thoroldian darkness, if you will. But it was not the guilt-ridden darkness I had in myself and that was why, when I had to leave, she could not understand my decision. And so we split. I think of her now only with fondness."

He removed his finger from Maerad's mouth and she swallowed hard, feeling guilty.

"I don't want Rayleigh," she whispered finally, avoiding Cadvan's gaze. "I never did. I don't even _like_ him that much - he's so shallow. And the kiss at the Meet was a mistake - I wish it had never happened."

She took in a quick breath, then continued.

"I just wanted to feel _normal_, Cadvan - just for a while - going out in the evening with boys like any other girl my age would - "

She bit her lip and looked away, and Cadvan reached forward and tenderly touched her chin with the tips of his fingers, tilting it so that she was looking at him again, even if it was through eyes blurred with tears.

"I apologise," he said gently. "I was too harsh with you about that."

"No, you were right." Maerad sniffed, then wiped her cheeks fiercely with her hands. "I am the One and I have to stop pretending that I am not."

"Well," Cadvan answered, half smiling, "I do want you to have a _little_ fun."

Maerad glanced at him and suddenly a spark of her old mischieviousness was back in her eyes.

"Oh, I did," she said defiantly. "The other reason I went out with Rayleigh all the time was to make you jealous."

Cadvan grinned; he should have expected this to be her other motive. How childish he had been!

"It certainly worked," he said dryly.

"I noticed," she retorted playfully and smiled properly at him, her sorrow gone.

He stood up, feeling lighter than he had for days, and extended a hand to Maerad so that she could stand up also, which she accepted and bounced up quite cheerfully.

"So," Cadvan said. "Am I forgiven?"

Maerad eyed him for a moment, then said guardedly,

"Only if I am."

"You're forgiven," Cadvan answered promptly.

"Then so are you," Maerad declared and threw her arms around his neck in a tight embrace, which he returned, squeezing her shoulders warmly.

They stood in blissful silence for a moment, then Maerad whispered in Cadvan's ear,

"I think we have a problem."

"We do?" he queried, releasing her enough so that he could look her in the face, his arms still around her waist.

"Well," Maerad mused, twining her own arms more securely around his neck. "What sort of state will we both be in if _I_ get jealous of every woman _you_ see and _you_ get jealous of every man _I_ see?"

"I'll only get jealous if you kiss the man," Cadvan lied.

Maerad smiled slowly.

"Well, _I'll_ get jealous if you even _look_ at the woman."

Cadvan grinned.

"You're very possessive."

"Yes." Maerad leant closer to him. "I am."

They kissed, just once, just briefly, enough for one to feel the other's sweetness, then Cadvan pulled away and took her hand.

"Come on then, Trouble," he said fondly. "Before we both drop with exhaustion."

And they walked hand in hand out of the night garden, which once again resumed its normal peace, its work done for the night.

Hem noticed the change in the two the very next day. By the way that Maerad was holding onto Cadvan's arm and laughing at his comments, and completely ignoring any other boys around (especially Rayleigh - poor, lost Rayleigh), it was obvious the two had made up.

He said as much to Irc.

_Thank the Light for that,_ said Irc. _I don't think I could have borne another argument of theirs._

And - once again - Hem completely agreed with him.

The End!

You like? Then review! The whole thing turned out a bit soap-operay but people seemed to like that, so…(grins) see you next time!


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